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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27099751">You Can Rest</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofhunter93/pseuds/queenofhunter93'>queenofhunter93</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>#11thYearWithJICHEOL, Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Anxiety, Gen, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 04:20:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27099751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofhunter93/pseuds/queenofhunter93</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If even the strongest of pillars fall, what can be said about the weaker ones?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups &amp; Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Can Rest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the @woocoupzifess Fic Fest on Twitter.</p><p>Prompt: Jihoon holding a sobbing Seungcheol. Seungcheol cries themselves to sleep with their face buried into Jihoon.</p><p>This is my take on Jihoon's POV of Seungcheol's anxiety problems. As said on the tag, I purposefully didn't define their relationship to make it even more "canon", if you will.</p><p>There are no specific or detailed description of the anxiety, so hopefully it won't be too triggering, but if any of you are triggered by specific parts of the story, please let me know so I can put a trigger warning!</p><p>Lyrics within the story is from SEVENTEEN's "Hug".</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jihoon considers himself lucky. Even though he has a short stature, he was blessed with an interest and skills in music, a fast metabolism, and a remarkably healthy body. No matter how much junk food he consumes and how little sleep he gets, he has never contracted any diseases that would stop him from being able to go on stage and promote. No matter how bad the creative block he gets during the songwriting process, he always manages to receive help and energy from people around him, especially his members, and he eventually finishes a whole album’s worth of songs.</p><p>But in return, Jihoon has to be the witness of so many of his members’ sufferings. He could only watch as Wonwoo gets wheeled on a gurney in the emergency room. When Chan’s stomach started acting up again, he could only pat Chan’s head as they waited for Jeonghan to return with the manager. Whenever Soonyoung dislocated his joints, he couldn’t even help him replace it; he was too scared to even look at him when he was in pain.</p><p>Usually, Jihoon would just let his hyungs handle the situation. Being right in the middle of the age ladder honestly gives Jihoon a lot of comfort. He has his authority over the younger members and he still has the right to be babied by the older ones – not that he would admit to like being babied; he has an image to protect. Being number 7 out of 13 also gives him the luxury of – for lack of a better word – caring a little bit less about things other than music.</p><p>But when it’s his hyungs who are suffering, Jihoon gets into a bit of a bind. Because if even the strongest of pillars fall, what can be said about the weaker ones?</p><p>Jihoon is a little bit more reassured when it comes to Jeonghan’s condition. It’s a physical condition; surely it would be easier to predict when he would be able to return to the stage. But with Seungcheol, Jihoon is considerably more worried, since Seungcheol’s condition is psychological. It’s harder for Jihoon to understand and even more unpredictable. Only Seungcheol can determine whether or not he could or even would return to promoting.</p><p>Jihoon is familiar with bouts of anxiety. Jihoon gets the same kind of anxiety that Seungcheol does; whenever they get some time off, they would get uneasy whenever they rest in the dorms, so they would instead go to the studio to work on something just for the sake of feeling productive. Whenever he runs out of ideas or when a recording doesn’t go as well as he wanted, Jihoon would get anxious. Jihoon also gets anxious whenever he’s close to a deadline, but he has time and time again managed to turn that anxious energy into something creative.</p><p>But apparently Seungcheol’s anxiety runs deeper than that.</p><p>Jihoon wouldn’t have known anything about it had he not caught Seungcheol crying on his bed.</p><p>“Hyung, did I leave my toothbrush on the bed?” Jihoon asks as he leaves the bathroom of their hotel room. When he left Seungcheol to take a shower, the older man was playing on his phone on the bed. Needless to say, Jihoon is shocked to find Seungcheol, still on the bed, but with his face buried in his pillow, his shoulders shaking, “Hyung, are you okay?”</p><p>Jihoon doesn’t panic, but he does speed-walk toward Seungcheol’s bed and touches the older man’s shoulder tentatively. When Seungcheol doesn’t seem to mind, he continues to pet the leader’s shoulder, “Hyung, what is it? Does anything hurt?”</p><p>Jihoon rethinks about what happened earlier today. They arrived in Jakarta, and after they checked into the hotel, Jihoon barely left his room (which is not unusual), and Seungcheol went out with Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Seokmin to the gym. Did he hurt himself during his work out? But Seungcheol isn’t exactly the type to leave an injury alone, especially the night before a show.</p><p>When Seungcheol doesn’t respond, Jihoon gets really worried, “Hyung… talk to me?”</p><p>Seungcheol still doesn’t say a word, but he does move his face from the pillow into Jihoon’s chest. The taller man holds Jihoon in his arms so tightly that Jihoon literally loses his breath, but he doesn’t complain. Jihoon wraps his arms around Seungcheol’s shoulder as one of his hands continues to pet the older man’s hair.</p><p>“I just… I hate this so much, Jihoon-ah…”</p><p>“What do you hate, hyung?”</p><p>“Everything… I can’t go on stage without feeling like shit… and I can’t stop thinking about how I’m gonna ruin everything!” Seungcheol raises his voice in frustration on his last word, and his hands fist the back of Jihoon’s shirt, “I’m scared I’m gonna fear going on stage if this goes on… but if I don’t go on stage, the fans will start to worry… I just… I hate myself…”</p><p>“Hate is a strong word, hyung,” Jihoon tries to reason with him.</p><p>“I don’t know, Jihoon-ah… I’m so confused… I’m so tired… I want to rest but if I rest, I get so uneasy… I don’t know what to do…”</p><p>Seungcheol continues to sob and Jihoon never stops petting his hyung’s hair. To be completely honest, Jihoon also doesn’t know what to do. He’s not trained to do this, and he’s not exactly the most emotionally adept member of the group. But he’s dying to help. And it makes him feel helpless to see Seungcheol like this. But this isn’t about him.</p><p>Sure, Jihoon and Seungcheol’s relationship is always associated with the phrase “no words needed”, but that’s because they always know when it’s absolutely necessary for them to say how they feel. And this time, Jihoon knows that he needs to verbalize his thoughts to Seungcheol.</p><p>“Hyung, it’s okay to have doubts sometimes; I have them too,” Jihoon starts, “And you’ve been giving everything you have to the fans and to us all the time. If you feel like you’re at your limit… you can rest, hyung. It’s fine. Everyone will understand. No one will blame you. Everyone will wait for you.”</p><p>When Jihoon receives no response and the weight in his arms becomes heavier, he knows that Seungcheol has finally gone to sleep. Jihoon leans down and kisses the crown of Seungcheol’s head. The grip Seungcheol’s arm had around Jihoon has loosened and Jihoon frees himself. He gently lays Seungcheol’s head on the pillow and covers his body with the comforter.</p><p>***</p><p>When Seungcheol returns to the hotel with Jeonghan in the middle of their Jakarta concert, Jihoon tries to prove his words to Seungcheol. With the members’ help, he makes sure that the show goes on, keeping Seungcheol and Jeonghan in their thoughts.</p><p>After the concert, Jihoon returns to a dark hotel room. He assumes that Seungcheol has already slept, but when he sees a light shine under Seungcheol’s comforter, he knows that Seungcheol is on his phone.</p><p>“Hyung, I’m back,” Jihoon announces.</p><p>“Welcome back. You’ve worked hard, Woozi-yah,” Seungcheol answers. He doesn’t sound as lethargic as he did before he left the show, but he’s not exactly brimming with energy, “You can turn on the lights.”</p><p>Jihoon complies and starts to unpack few of his things. Usually he would put some of his belongings, like his phone, his AirPods, his phone charger, and his wallet (if he remembers to bring it) in a pouch and leave it in his roommate’s bags; in this case, Seungcheol’s. But because Seungcheol returned earlier, Seungcheol left Jihoon’s pouch near Wonwoo’s belongings.</p><p>“How was the show, Woozi-yah?” Seungcheol asks as he sits up on his bed, leaning against the headboard.</p><p>“It was fine, hyung. The fans seemed worried about you and Jeonghan-hyung, but I think they had fun until the end. The kids were also worried, but we ended the concert just fine.”</p><p>Seungcheol nods to himself, “That’s good.”</p><p>The room is washed in silence as Jihoon loiters about the room to get ready for bed. When he leaves the bathroom after taking a shower, he finds Seungcheol still in the position he left him in: sitting against the headboard, his legs covered by his comforter, his face illuminated by the light emitted from his phone.</p><p>Jihoon takes a good look at his hyung. He doesn’t remember when the last time he really studies Seungcheol’s features. Compared to the Seungcheol in his memory, this Seungcheol looks like a shell of himself. His eyes are bloodshot, the sparkle in his eyes are long gone, and when Seungcheol notices Jihoon staring, the smile he gives Jihoon feels more painful than reassuring; it doesn’t even reach his eyes.</p><p>When did everything change? How did Seungcheol survive to this point? How did he hide it so well that <em>no one</em> noticed anything? Were they really that busy that they only notice their own leader’s breakdown when he was already on the floor?</p><p>“Hyung… get some rest.”</p><p>“I will, Woozi-yah. In a minute.”</p><p>“No, I mean <em>rest</em>.”</p><p>Jihoon knows that Seungcheol understands what he meant. This is exactly the reason why they keep saying that there are “no words needed” between them; because they’re always good at reading between the lines of everything that they say to each other.</p><p>Seungcheol looks down at his lap before nodding, “I know. After we land in Seoul, I’m going to have a talk with the higher-ups to see if I will continue the tour,” he sighs deeply, “This sucks.”</p><p>Jihoon walks toward Seungcheol’s bed and sits on it before opening his arms wide and saying in monotone, “When it’s hard, you can come and hug me…”</p><p>Jihoon smiles in triumph when Seungcheol gives him a short laugh, “Did you just recite your own lyrics? You could’ve just sung it.”</p><p>“…I am the same,” Jihoon finishes saying the lyrics, “Hyung, I’m the same.”</p><p>Seungcheol gives Jihoon a small smile. The taller man wraps his arms around Jihoon’s torso and puts his chin on the younger’s shoulder. Jihoon wraps his arms around Seungcheol’s shoulders and mirrors his hyung’s position. It’s a little bit awkward when Jihoon is sitting sideways on the bed like this, but they make it work.</p><p>“Jihoon-ah,” Seungcheol starts, naturally changing the name he uses to refer to his dongsaeng with his real name instead of his stage name, “Hyung is going to trouble you, is it okay?”</p><p>“You know it’s always okay, hyung.”</p><p>“No matter what happens, hyung will be back. I promise you, Jihoon-ah, I’ll get better and come back.”</p><p>“I know, hyung. You know we’ll wait for you.”</p><p>“I love you, Jihoon-ah. I love you so much.”</p><p>“I love you too, Seungcheol-hyung. It’s okay. You can rest.”</p><p>Jihoon can’t remember when was the last time he called Seungcheol with his real name instead of ‘Coups-hyung’. Ever since Seungcheol used his stage name, the members just naturally started to use it to refer to their oldest hyung. But this time, Jihoon isn’t talking in front of a camera or the fans; he’s just facing his Cheolie-hyung.</p><p>Seungcheol chuckles, “I can’t remember the last time you called me that.”</p><p>Jihoon also laughs. Sometimes their brains work in the same frequency, it gives him the chills. “I was just thinking the same thing.”</p><p>Seungcheol pulls away from the embrace first before he ruffles Jihoon’s still wet hair, “Dry your hair before sleeping. Don’t get a cold.”</p><p>“Yes, hyung.”</p><p>At first, when Jihoon saw how his hyung was collapsing, he was worried. He didn’t know what to do when their oldest hyung, their leader, the strongest person he knows, was slowly but surely crumbling into pieces.</p><p>But even after Seungcheol tells them that he will be taking some indefinite time off, Jihoon knows that they will be fine. Especially when he sees the reaction of the other members; how Mingyu automatically wraps his arms around the elder’s shoulders, how Soonyoung immediately reassured Seungcheol that his empty space will be properly filled with their enthusiasm, how Vernon quietly starts to rap Seungcheol’s part in ‘Chilli’, and how Wonwoo jokes about how he’d invite Seungcheol to play PUBG after the shows.</p><p>Jihoon is reassured. Especially when he sees Seungcheol’s smile finally reach his eyes, and the seemingly dying embers of the sparkle in his eyes start to burn again.</p><p>Because when the strongest pillar falls, the weaker ones can hold him up until they can get back up again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy 7th wedding anniversary to the source of my happiness and frustration xD here's hoping for more Jicheol moments!</p><p>Come gush over Jicheol with me!<br/><a href="http://www.twitter.com/qoh93_aus">my fangirling twitter</a> | <a href="http://curiouscat.qa/qoh93_aus">my curiouscat</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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